Fibromyalgia and Weight Issues

One of the myths that surround Fibromyalgia is that it’s caused by being overweight.  I’ve had it since I was a child and I wasn’t by any means overweight when this endless nightmare started.  Approximately 25 years later, I’m considered obese.  I also have Polycystic Ovary syndrome so I’ve gotten a double dose of uncontrollable weight gain.

There are many reasons why some of us with Fibromyalgia gain weight.  The biggest cause is the hormonal imbalances that come courtesy of this monster.  Fibromyalgia affects the levels of cortisol, thyroid, serotonin and insulin and then there’s a production of growth hormones.  Can you guess what all that causes?  Our metabolism slows way down and we get fluffy.

Fatigue is also one of our biggest nemeses in trying to lose weight.   We don’t ever get enough quality sleep and on most days we feel like we’re trying to function after being dipped in molasses. It’s hard to incorporate exercise into our daily routine, when we can barely work and take care of the household.  I’m a big advocate for exercise and Fibromyalgia, not only for weight-loss, but to lower pain levels and increase happy thoughts.  This doesn’t mean it’s easy to do.  It takes time, patience and a lot of focus.

The pain all on its own is a cause for weight gain for obvious reasons. 

Most attribute medication to the sole cause of weight gain.  Some of the medications used to treat Fibromyalgia do cause weight gain, but that’s only one of the reasons.  Personally I’ve been off of all prescription medications for almost 3 years and I still have major weight issues.

Fibromyalgia makes everything a struggle and losing weight is only one of them.  If anyone has had weight loss success, please share your story.  Those of us who struggle with it, would appreciate the help and the hope.

I hope everyone is having a wonderful day/night.  Gentle hugs and lots of love! 

Domestic Violence: The Behavioral Traits of an Abuser

Every 9 seconds a woman is abused and every 37.8 seconds a man is abused in the United States. Abusers tend to share certain behavioral traits and those traits should be used as warning signs. An example of this is if your partner is overly jealous and controlling, then there is a high likely-hood of psychological or physical abuse down the road.

Some of the behavioral traits of an abuser are:


They draw you in with their charisma. The beginning of the relationship will be wonderful.  They will give you all the compliments and attention in the world.  They will tell you that you are the best thing that ever happened to them and that they can’t imagine living life without you. They will want an exclusive relationship immediately and will want to marry soon after that.  They want to trap you before they let their true colors show.


They will accuse you of flirting with anyone you cross paths with, even the high school kid that sacks your groceries.  You’ll learn to keep your head down and your mouth shut as an attempt to avoid a fight.  This is usually a sign that they’re the ones cheating.  It’s so easy for them to do it, so it must be that easy for you to do it too.


No matter how hard you try to do everything right, it will always be wrong.  You will never be pretty enough, smart enough and you will never cook or clean well enough to satisfy him.  That includes sex too and most likely they will have others on the side.


They are good at repeatedly apologizing, but they never mean it.  It’s just another ploy to manipulate you into staying in the relationship.  They will say that they’re sorry and tell you how much they love you.  It’s all just meaningless words.  Those words are just tools to keep you right where he wants you.  He will convince you that it will get better and that things will change.  It doesn’t work that way though.  It always happens again. 


They will isolate you from your family and friends so you are forced to be dependent on them.  This gets worse after your family begins to notice the abuse.  The more your family tries to talk you into leaving, the more they will try to turn you against them.  They will blame your family and friends for causing turmoil in the relationship.


They gain power by intimidation.  They won’t hesitate to harm or even kill animals.  Not only will they abuse you, but they will abuse children because they’re easy targets.  They will threaten to kill you. They have evil in their hearts and they will stop at nothing to obtain power and control over you.


Don’t bother trying to get a job or go out with friends, because it isn’t going to happen.  You’re no longer allowed to do what you want to do.  You do what they say you can do or you will face consequences that will break your spirit and possibly a bone or two.  While they’re at work, they will check up on you multiple times a day.  If you are allowed to leave the house they will want to know where you’re going, who you’re with and when you plan to be back.  This will cause a fight 90% of the time.


Manipulation is a skill that they excel at.  They are highly intelligent and are able to get inside your head.  They find all your weak spots and use them to make you feel helpless and dependent on them.  They will tell you that no one else will ever love you and they will bring to the surface, every insecurity you have.


They always play the victim.  They don’t ever do anything wrong and the whole world is out to get them.  They will seek out pity from your family and they will blame you for all the trouble in the relationship.  They won’t take responsibility for anything they have done or said.


The whole world revolves around them.  They’re in charge and you are beneath them.  They get a thrill out of knowing that you “walk on eggshells” trying to please them day after day. 


Drastic mood swings are never-ending.  They can be perfectly happy and content one minute and then go into a full on rage the next.  All it takes is for you to say one wrong word.


They ALWAYS feel someone is out to get them or someone is talking bad about them.  They feel like they were robbed if they can’t find something in the house and they get offended by the most harmless of jokes.

You will trick yourself into believing that you have everything under control.  You desperately want to believe that you can make everything better.  You tell yourself that you just have to look better, be better and do more to satisfy them and everything will be okay.  None of that matters.  They’re behavior has nothing to do with you.  When you’re able to fight your way out, they’ll move on and do it to someone else all over again.  Don’t allow yourself to be a victim.  Be a fighter.  Be a survivor.

What Would You Do If You Didn't Have Fibromyalgia?

I’ve had Fibromyalgia for at least 25 years and I’ve always wondered what it would be like to not have it.  Can you imagine the freeness of having no pain?  I think about all the things I would do.  I’m pretty sure I would get myself into a lot of trouble!  It would be fun to just be normal.  Well, there’s no part of me that has ever been normal, but you know what I mean.  Maybe the word healthy would fit better there.

I try not to get down and do the whole “why me?” thing.  I know it could be so much worse, but every now and then I can’t help but have a pity party.  It’s exhausting living in a chronically ill body.  The simple things are difficult to do and the difficult things are almost impossible to do.  Some days they are impossible to do.  My brain has all these ideas of what needs to be done, but my body does not always agree.  It’s frustrating not being able to do what you want to do when you want to do it. 

Every day I fight to do as much as I possibly can.  Some days I succeed and sometimes I don’t.  I’ve learned to accept that for the most part, but it still hurts and the guilt doesn’t go away.  It’s hard to handle feeling guilty for something you have no control over, but it’s all part of Fibromyalgia.  Healthy folks have no idea what that feels like.  It can make you miserable if you let it.  Don’t let it.

What are some of the things you would like to do if you didn’t have Fibromyalgia?  I would go dancing all the time, play sports (I love softball, volleyball and basketball.) and my house would be spotless all the time!

I hope everyone is having a wonderful day/night.  Gentle hugs and lots of love! 

Fibromyalgia and Brain Fog

I’ve said many times that Fibromyalgia is so much more than chronic pain, and I still agree with that.  What hurts me the most is the brain fog.  That’s what makes me feel like less of a person…less like me.  I’m a writer who now doesn’t feel like a writer, because on most days I can’t think.  Not being able to construct a complete sentence or find the right words, makes it almost impossible to write anything.  It frustrates me, because all I’ve ever wanted to do is write…about anything and everything.  I had a few dreams along with writing, but when I realized that the pain was never going to go away, writing became my safe place.  I thought that no matter how my body failed me that I would still be able to write.  I didn’t know that I was going to have to fight to keep that too. 

There was a point I just wanted to give up, but I realized that if I did I would completely lose the person I used to be.  I’m not ready to do that.  I’ll never be ready to do that.  So I’ve began to take steps to help me handle the brain fog.  I try to exercise my brain as much as possible by reading and writing even when I don’t feel like I comprehend properly or even if what I’m writing makes no sense at all.  I’ve found that if I keep at it, it starts to get a little easier.  I’m able to eventually retain some of what I’m reading and my writing begins to flow more smoothly.  I also try to exercise every day, even if it’s just a little walk.  It helps me think more clearly and overall it makes me feel better.

I hope that I continue to learn more ways to help with the brain fog.  I’ve learned to live with the pain, but I can’t live with losing who I am.  How do you handle the brain fog?

Another Challenging Day with Fibromyalgia

It’s Wednesday already and I’m hoping for a good day because I have a lot of work to finish.  You can’t really ever predict your days when you have Fibromyalgia.  The day can start out good and end horribly or it can be the other way around.  Then there are the days when you wish you never got out of bed.  My pain level is a 6 right now so I’m not sure how this day is going to go yet.  I hope things will improve as the day progresses, but right now it’s not looking good.  My hip has been killing me for a week now.  Add that to the rest of the crap Fibro throws at you and that makes for a challenging day.

Everyone has bad days whether you have a chronic illness or not so I’m going to try to maintain a positive attitude and see how it turns out. I hope everyone is having a good day/night! *Gentle hugs and lots of love*

Fibromyalgia: So Many Questions Left Unanswered

Having Fibromyalgia is like having an extremely annoying sibling that never leaves you alone.  It just keeps poking and irritating you every day, 24/7.  That’s probably putting it mildly.  It’s far more than just irritating.  It’s life-changing.  Sometimes I wish I could go back to the very beginning to see if I could see it coming.  I want to know if there were signs showing what the future would hold.  I was only 10 years old when the chronic pain started and from what I remember it seemed to just hit me out of nowhere.  This is something I think about all the time.  It drives me crazy sometimes.  A lot of people have Fibromyalgia because of car accidents or other trauma.  I wish I knew exactly why I have it.  Is it in my family somewhere down the line?  Is it because my father’s side of the family has a history of Rheumatoid Arthritis?  Is it because I got part of my pinky cut off when I was 5 or because I got my hand smashed between two cement poles when I was 10?  These are only a few of the questions I have that will probably never be answered.

I hope everyone is having a good day/night.  *Gentle Hugs and Lots of Love*

Those Walls Keep Getting in My Way...

Does anyone else have a problem with running into walls?  I’m glad everyone knows beyond a shadow of a doubt how loving my man is or he would catch a lot of hell for all the bruises I get.  It doesn’t help that I bruise extremely easily in the first place.  I have a nasty bruise on my upper arm now, because once again the wall got in my way while I was on a cleaning spree.  I assume it’s a result of the fatigue and balance issues.  It’s happened to me so many times now that it’s become quite comical.  I just hate that when the bruises are really bad, I feel like I have to wear long sleeves so people won’t look at me like I’ve been abused.

Truth be told, if I didn’t have Fibromyalgia I don’t know that I would believe that it’s real.  It’s an absolutely insane illness, with insane symptoms.  Just when I think I can’t possibly experience a new symptom, I get a big surprise. I’ve learned to laugh at a lot of it, because laughter feels so much better than crying over it day after day.  It is what it is and we must keep on keeping on.  Hope everyone is as pain free as possible.  Gentle hugs!