Help Me Fight this Battle or Get the Hell Out of My Way!

I spent another hour of my life trying to explain why you can’t compare two people with Fibromyalgia.  I don’t know why I waste my time.  I hate when someone tells me that so-and-so has Fibromyalgia and they work and they do this and they do that.  My first question is…How long have they had it?  My second is…What medications are they on?  If they can answer the questions then I tell them my story and why I’m different from that person or how I used to be that person a few years ago.  If they can’t answer the questions then I usually just say we’re all different and we all react differently to the treatments.

The last thing I thought I would be doing when I finally got diagnosed was defending the fact that I’m sick.  It’s ridiculous, but yet we face it every day.  I was thinking about it today and I started wondering how many of the Fibromyalgia-related suicides could have been prevented with just a little more understanding and support.  I’m to the point now where I’m saying either help me fight this battle or get the hell out of my way.  I don’t have the time or the patience for ignorance anymore.  I’m sick.  There’s no need to discuss it.  It is what it is.  Until you can walk in my shoes, you can’t judge my capability so don’t pretend you have me figured out because I assure you that you never will.

I hope everyone is having an awesome night/day despite the pain and all the other evil symptoms.  Gentle hugs and lots of love!

Is it Monday?

It has been a Monday on a Thursday all day today.  If I could get by with it I would never go to another doctor for the rest of my life.  I’ve been working on an application so I can get assistance at a clinic and I went today to finish everything and set up an appointment and I get there and I’m told they lost my application.  Now I have to wait till Monday for the girl who normally does all that paperwork to get back.  It’s really not a huge deal but it pissed me off to the point of tears for the simple fact that it took a lot of energy that I haven’t had lately to get dressed and make myself look good enough to leave the house and on top of the Fibro I have a severely sprained ankle that is refusing to heal.  It just took a lot of effort and to do it all for nothing made me angry.

People who aren’t sick hear things like what I just said and their first thought is oh my god can she get any more dramatic.  I know because I used to be that person.  I was already sick but I didn’t know what I had or the impact it was going to have on my life.  My aunt has Lupus and I thought she just used it as an excuse to get out of doing things.  Now that I know exactly what she’s going through I feel horrible for every thought and every comment I made about it.  I was one of the mean people that I battle against every day now.  It’s so easy to judge someone else instead of looking at your own faults and limitations.  I guess it’s just human nature, but it’s something that everyone needs to work on a little harder.

Well that’s just my ramblings for the day.  I’m going to continue sitting here with the heating pad on my back and the icepack on my foot wondering at exactly what point did I turn into an 80 year old.  I hope everyone is having an awesome day/night.  *Gentle Hugs and Lots of Love*