Those Who Don't Believe...


I have Fibromyalgia.  Of course that’s no surprise to those of you who actually read my insane ramblings, but to some members of my family it’s the biggest joke they have ever heard.  They seem to think that I’m just a depressed, lazy chick who is scared of the world and if I would just push myself then I would magically be cured.  Now why didn’t I think of that?  I’ve had chronic pain and a whole host of other symptoms since I was 10 and to think it can all be cured by just pushing myself a little harder.

If this sounds angry, I apologize because I try really hard not to let these kind of things get to me, but sometimes I just need to let things out so that I can let them go.  Those people who don’t think Fibromyalgia is real or those that think it’s not that bad are just ignorant.  I know that’s a harsh word, but damn our battle is hard enough without having to hear this retarded crap all the time.
The thing I hate the most is being called lazy.  Like I’ve said before in other posts, I wish I was lazy because then I wouldn’t care when I have to refrain from a “normal” life.  I could be happy sitting on my ass all day.  I hate that I can’t work a regular job.  I hate that I can’t hang out with my friends near as much as I used to and I hate that when I do I have to worry about how long I’m going to be gone, if I’m wearing comfortable clothes and which meds I need to take with me.  I hate the days I can’t drive.  I hate barely having enough energy to dress myself after I take a shower.  I hate being sick, but most of all I hate being ridiculed because I’m sick.

No one chooses to be sick and no one chooses to give up a life that they were perfectly happy with in return for a lifetime of pain, extreme fatigue, nausea, lack of sleep, sensitivities to everything, muscle spasms and the list goes on and on.

Someday the world is going to know what Fibromyalgia is and how bad it is, but the relationships with some people in my life will be too damaged to repair.  If they can’t support me now, then I won’t want their support when they finally get the proof they need.

I’m a fighter and I’m a survivor and it’s because I do have people in my life who understand that I’m sick and support me a 100%.  I’m so thankful for them, because if it wasn’t for them and my faith I wouldn’t be here.  I would have given up before I even got my diagnosis.  I’m glad I didn’t give up, because I still have a lot of life to live even though it’s not the life some people think I should be living.

That’s just my thought for the night.  Hope everyone is as pain-free as possible.

1 comments:

I feel your pain and ask myself all the same questions. What do you do when everyone turns their back on you? When you need help, but nobody wants to come to your aid? Let’s read the real truth about what happens to people with fibro. I have no job, no family, no friends…I have nothing left! This illness has destroyed my life and I’m pissed! Why do people turn their backs on you when you need them the most? I hate this life and can’t wait for it to be over! I almost died in 2010 and it was very peaceful, I keep that in mind and look forward to leaving this world that is full of pain and hate! People are selfish and that is exactly what’s wrong!!!

 

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