I
just woke up and I’m laying here because my knees hurt so bad that I’m scared
to get up. I hate mornings like
this. I never know if my legs are going
to be strong enough to keep me from falling.
I never know if they’re going to work like they’re supposed to. I just never know and that’s enough to drive
me completely crazy if I let it. I can’t
count the times that I’ve sat on the side of the bed praying for enough
strength to be able to make it to the bathroom and I can’t count the times that
I’ve gotten up only to fall right back down and I also can’t count the times
that I’ve gotten dizzy and ran straight into the wall.
Living
with any chronic illness is full of so many uncertainties, frustration and
confusion. The only way I’ve learned to
cope with all of this is to laugh at it.
Laughing feels so much better than crying and it’s not that I don’t take
being sick seriously, because you have to.
It’s just that if I spend every day worrying about what’s going to
happen to me, or crying because I couldn’t function the way I needed to I would
be a totally miserable person and that’s just not me. How can I successfully survive this illness
if I lose who I am in the process? I can’t.
Everyone
deals with being sick in their own ways and there’s nothing wrong with that as
long as they are successfully dealing with it.
Our lives may look insufficient to you, but we’re happy just to be
alive. Anything we’re able to do past
that is a bonus.
I
hope everyone is having an awesome day. *Gentle Hugs*
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