Another Challenging Day with Fibromyalgia

It’s Wednesday already and I’m hoping for a good day because I have a lot of work to finish.  You can’t really ever predict your days when you have Fibromyalgia.  The day can start out good and end horribly or it can be the other way around.  Then there are the days when you wish you never got out of bed.  My pain level is a 6 right now so I’m not sure how this day is going to go yet.  I hope things will improve as the day progresses, but right now it’s not looking good.  My hip has been killing me for a week now.  Add that to the rest of the crap Fibro throws at you and that makes for a challenging day.

Everyone has bad days whether you have a chronic illness or not so I’m going to try to maintain a positive attitude and see how it turns out. I hope everyone is having a good day/night! *Gentle hugs and lots of love*

Fibromyalgia: So Many Questions Left Unanswered

Having Fibromyalgia is like having an extremely annoying sibling that never leaves you alone.  It just keeps poking and irritating you every day, 24/7.  That’s probably putting it mildly.  It’s far more than just irritating.  It’s life-changing.  Sometimes I wish I could go back to the very beginning to see if I could see it coming.  I want to know if there were signs showing what the future would hold.  I was only 10 years old when the chronic pain started and from what I remember it seemed to just hit me out of nowhere.  This is something I think about all the time.  It drives me crazy sometimes.  A lot of people have Fibromyalgia because of car accidents or other trauma.  I wish I knew exactly why I have it.  Is it in my family somewhere down the line?  Is it because my father’s side of the family has a history of Rheumatoid Arthritis?  Is it because I got part of my pinky cut off when I was 5 or because I got my hand smashed between two cement poles when I was 10?  These are only a few of the questions I have that will probably never be answered.

I hope everyone is having a good day/night.  *Gentle Hugs and Lots of Love*

Those Walls Keep Getting in My Way...

Does anyone else have a problem with running into walls?  I’m glad everyone knows beyond a shadow of a doubt how loving my man is or he would catch a lot of hell for all the bruises I get.  It doesn’t help that I bruise extremely easily in the first place.  I have a nasty bruise on my upper arm now, because once again the wall got in my way while I was on a cleaning spree.  I assume it’s a result of the fatigue and balance issues.  It’s happened to me so many times now that it’s become quite comical.  I just hate that when the bruises are really bad, I feel like I have to wear long sleeves so people won’t look at me like I’ve been abused.

Truth be told, if I didn’t have Fibromyalgia I don’t know that I would believe that it’s real.  It’s an absolutely insane illness, with insane symptoms.  Just when I think I can’t possibly experience a new symptom, I get a big surprise. I’ve learned to laugh at a lot of it, because laughter feels so much better than crying over it day after day.  It is what it is and we must keep on keeping on.  Hope everyone is as pain free as possible.  Gentle hugs!

Winter Blues

This winter has been harder on me than ever before. Maybe it's because I had been feeling almost normal before the cold hit for the first time in years. Maybe this winter just sucks.

It's definitely been an odd winter here in West Texas. We've been getting Arctic fronts that last a couple of days at a time and rarely bring any kind of moisture. Every other day is filled with mild to warm temperatures during the day and  freezing temps at night. 

The tree pollen is insane and I've had horrible allergy and sinus issues since November.  We've had way more wind and sand than snow and ice and all I can say is that it's just been different, even for Texas.

I hope I can survive the rest of this crazy winter. Another Arctic front is on the way for Sunday and this is supposed to be a big one so we shall see if we get the snow and ice this time.

To all of you who get tons of snow and ice I hope that you stay safe and warm! Gentle hugs and lots of love!

Normal Function Denied

It's been a bad pain day and it just keeps getting worse. I should be cooking supper but I'm now stuck to my heating pad. 

Days like this are so hard to deal with especially when there are tons of things I have planned. I stopped planning and committing to any activities outside of my home to try and avoid having to cancel last minute. That is the worst thing to have to do because most of the time folks aren't very understanding. The only things I like to plan are things like doing laundry, writing and other things around the house because it motivates me to do them. Of course on days like this there's not enough motivation in the world to allow me to function properly.

So here I sit, in pain, frustrated and bored. It's just another day in the land of the chronically ill. 

Gentle hugs and lots of love!

Looking Past Negativity

This year started out a bit complicated with financial issues and of course illness on top of illness, but I’m still determined to make it better.  Changes will be made and better things will come.  I can’t change the fact that I’m chronically ill, but I can continue to improve my outlook of it.  A strong mind goes a long way with a physical illness.  I didn’t understand that when my illnesses first brought me down.  I actually got angry when people told me to use my mind to make it better.  However some of these people thought that if I acted like I wasn’t sick then I would get better and that’s truly what made me angry.  After getting mad, after crying and even screaming I thought about what they were saying and even though I didn’t agree with the way they had put it, I did see the point in it.  My body will always be in pain and it will always malfunction, but if my mind is strong then I can stay positive and I’ll be in a much better place to handle my illnesses when they become too much. 

Healthy people will never understand what those of us with chronic illness go through, but don’t be quick to dismiss their hurtful comments.  Some may be total ignorant crap, but they’re may be something deep down that can help.  We see things differently, because we’ve forced to adapt to a world we weren’t prepared for.  The hurtful comments most often hurt worse than the torture our illnesses lash out on us.  It’s time to use our different views to see past the negativity of others and use their callousness to make our lives better.  If we can find the good in it, then it can’t hurt us anymore.

Every day is hard with a chronic illness, but make sure you find something good in every day.  Keep your mind strong and your heart even stronger.  You know what you’re going through and while everyone will have their own opinion about how bad it really is it doesn’t matter.  They have a right to their own opinion.  Not to hurt you.  Don’t let them!

I hope everyone is staying strong in the New Year.  Gentle hugs and lots of love!

Can You Still See Me?

Don’t treat me like I’m not sick
And then maybe I won’t act like it.
This crap is getting deep
And I feel like I’m knee deep in it.
I’m sick and I refuse to deny that.
This illness is a part of who I am now,
And I can’t change that.
Denying my illness is denying me.
I’ll no longer try to explain
How sick I really am,
Because it’s like explaining
The clothes I wore today…POINTLESS!!!
I know now you’ll never understand
Because you’ll never try to.
I guess this is just how it must be,
But I’m still me deep down inside,
Can you still see me?