The Fight to be "Normal"

I have managed to take a shower and get dressed before 3, which leaves me with 3 whole hours to clean and do laundry before the boyfriend gets home.  I think today may be a good day!  I don’t know that if this would have happened if I wasn't expecting company this evening, but I’m still getting things done either way.

This is something only the chronically ill would understand.  It’s the everyday fight to function like a “normal” person.  To a “normal” person, this seems like laziness and to tell you the truth I fight not to feel this way myself.  It’s hard, even devastating, to live in a body that can no longer do what you need it to do.  We've all heard that annoying phrase, “You just have to push yourself a little harder”.  We begin pushing ourselves the minute we get out of bed just to do what’s considered “normal”.  We get to the point where there’s absolutely no “push” left.  That’s just how it is.

Even though I know I’ll never be, I still strive to be “normal”, because I want to fit it and feel like a productive person.  I despise days I have to stay in bed.  I despise a lot of things about being sick, but I won’t give up.  Normal or not, this is me and I’m not only going to fight and survive, I’m going to live.


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