Every 9 seconds a woman is abused and every 37.8 seconds
a man is abused in the United States. Abusers tend to share certain behavioral
traits and those traits should be used as warning signs. An example of this is
if your partner is overly jealous and controlling, then there is a high
likely-hood of psychological or physical abuse down the road.
Some of the behavioral traits of an abuser are:
CHARISMATIC
They draw you in with their charisma. The beginning of
the relationship will be wonderful. They
will give you all the compliments and attention in the world. They will tell you that you are the best
thing that ever happened to them and that they can’t imagine living life
without you. They will want an exclusive relationship immediately and will want
to marry soon after that. They want to
trap you before they let their true colors show.
JEALOUS
They will accuse you of flirting with anyone you cross
paths with, even the high school kid that sacks your groceries. You’ll learn to keep your head down and your
mouth shut as an attempt to avoid a fight.
This is usually a sign that they’re the ones cheating. It’s so easy for them to do it, so it must be
that easy for you to do it too.
CRITICAL
No matter how hard you try to do everything right, it
will always be wrong. You will never be
pretty enough, smart enough and you will never cook or clean well enough to
satisfy him. That includes sex too and
most likely they will have others on the side.
INSINCERELY REMORSEFUL
They are good at repeatedly apologizing, but they never
mean it. It’s just another ploy to
manipulate you into staying in the relationship. They will say that they’re sorry and tell you
how much they love you. It’s all just
meaningless words. Those words are just
tools to keep you right where he wants you.
He will convince you that it will get better and that things will
change. It doesn’t work that way
though. It always happens again.
DISENGAGED
They will isolate you from your family and friends so you
are forced to be dependent on them. This
gets worse after your family begins to notice the abuse. The more your family tries to talk you into
leaving, the more they will try to turn you against them. They will blame your family and friends for
causing turmoil in the relationship.
MALICIOUS
They gain power by intimidation. They won’t hesitate to harm or even kill
animals. Not only will they abuse you,
but they will abuse children because they’re easy targets. They will threaten to kill you. They have
evil in their hearts and they will stop at nothing to obtain power and control
over you.
CONTROLLING
Don’t bother trying to get a job or go out with friends,
because it isn’t going to happen. You’re
no longer allowed to do what you want to do.
You do what they say you can do or you will face consequences that will
break your spirit and possibly a bone or two.
While they’re at work, they will check up on you multiple times a
day. If you are allowed to leave the
house they will want to know where you’re going, who you’re with and when you
plan to be back. This will cause a fight
90% of the time.
MANIPULATIVE
Manipulation is a skill that they excel at. They are highly intelligent and are able to
get inside your head. They find all your
weak spots and use them to make you feel helpless and dependent on them. They will tell you that no one else will ever
love you and they will bring to the surface, every insecurity you have.
A
VICTIM
They always play the victim. They don’t ever do anything wrong and the
whole world is out to get them. They
will seek out pity from your family and they will blame you for all the trouble
in the relationship. They won’t take responsibility
for anything they have done or said.
EGOTISTICAL
The whole world revolves around them. They’re in charge and you are beneath
them. They get a thrill out of knowing
that you “walk on eggshells” trying to please them day after day.
UNPREDICTABLE
Drastic mood swings are never-ending. They can be perfectly happy and content one
minute and then go into a full on rage the next. All it takes is for you to say one wrong
word.
OVERSENSITIVE
They ALWAYS feel someone is out to get them or someone is
talking bad about them. They feel like
they were robbed if they can’t find something in the house and they get
offended by the most harmless of jokes.
You will trick yourself into believing that you have
everything under control. You
desperately want to believe that you can make everything better. You tell yourself that you just have to look
better, be better and do more to satisfy them and everything will be okay. None of that matters. They’re behavior has nothing to do with
you. When you’re able to fight your way
out, they’ll move on and do it to someone else all over again. Don’t allow yourself to be a victim. Be a fighter.
Be a survivor.
