The last few days have been a little on
the difficult side. The pain has been absolutely insane and I
haven’t been able to sleep very well. When I do finally sleep I
have the wonderful pain dreams so as always I’m reminded that there
is no escape.
I actually woke up today in a good
mood, but there’s only so much pain you can handle before your
nerves wear thin and the bad mood sets in. I’m so frustrated right
now, because I can’t get comfortable and I have so much writing to
catch up on and no energy or brain power.
I love the days when for a split second
I’m able to forget that I’m sick. There’s just that moment
that I’m doing something and I feel normal. It doesn't happen
very often, but it’s the little things like that, that gives me the
strength to keep on keeping on.
Everyone seems to think that if we
don’t think about being sick, then we will be just fine and we’ll
be able to work full-time, keep the house spotless and enjoy our
favorite hobbies. They must live in the same fantasy world that the
Lyrica commercials come from. I wish every damn day that it could be
like that, but that’s just not how it is in the land of the
chronically ill. I used to just shrug it off when someone would say
stuff like that, but then the anger took over. Now I tell them to go
slam their hand in a car door and see if they can ignore the pain.
Yes I tend to get
a little on the bitchy side sometime, but if I don't stand up for
myself then how can I expect anyone else to. Having a chronic
illness is a battle and if we don't get up and fight every day then
the illness is going to win. I refuse to let that happen.
I hope everyone is having a good
day/night. Gentle hugs and lots of love.
