Sleep Deprived and in Pain...What's New?!

The pain woke me up, which I figured it would because I was highly uncomfortable when I went to bed.  I’m surprised I fell asleep in the first place.  At least I got about a 2 hour nap. Hopefully I’ll have time for another nap before it’s time to start my day.  It seems this always happens when I have a lot to do the next day, or maybe this is just when I really notice it.

It’s hard living a life that is centered around Fibromyalgia.  Making plans is impossible and you never know when you’re going to get enough sleep to be able to function somewhat normal.  This goes for all chronic illnesses.  The illness has to come first no matter what.  The moment you try to push it aside is the moment it’s going to run you right over and there goes everything.  Healthy people don’t understand that at all.

This is just what’s on my mind at 4:30 in the morning.  I’m going to be so thrilled to go to work today, not to mention the hundred errands I have to run.  Oh well I have to keep on keeping on.  I don’t have any other choice, besides death and I’m not ready for that yet.  I’m way too stubborn to give up.  I won’t let this monster win.

I hope everyone is doing as well as possible.  Gentle hugs and lots of love.

I Hate Fibromyalgia Today!

It’s been one of those days that I despise being sick.  I accept being sick, but on days like today I want to stand in the middle of the street and scream f**k Fibromyalgia and all its little friends.  I slept okay I guess, but I woke up extremely grumpy.  As I began the process of taking all my morning meds that feeling of hatred hit me.  I hate taking all this medication that seems to make me more sick than anything else.  I hate waking up and being more tired than I was the night before.  I hate getting out of bed and having to prepare myself because there’s a 50% chance that I’m going to fall. I hate that it’s Friday night and I’m stuck at home because I’m hurting too bad to go out. I just hate everything about it sometimes and I hate that I have to despise something so bad.

Well tomorrow is a new day and I’m hoping for the best.  Hope everyone is happy. Gentle hugs and lots of love.